Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize