We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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