She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize