The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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