I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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