I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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