pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize