Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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