Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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