do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
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This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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