It's Friday. Sex?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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