I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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