he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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