how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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