Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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