Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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