I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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