i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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