Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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