I just made out with a guy for $7.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize