theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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