you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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