And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize