It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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