Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize