I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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sorry about calling you the devil all night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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