Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize