Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
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Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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