Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

i need an iv and a liver transplant

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(626): i need an iv and a liver transplant http://tfl.nu/lbut

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(904): View more from Florida

If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it

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(904): If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it http://tfl.nu/oeec

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.

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(570): so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party. http://tfl.nu/bja2

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.

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(617): been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good. http://tfl.nu/r5yz

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(602): View more from Arizona

And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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(602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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(780): He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again. http://tfl.nu/j7t8

Replies (19) Good night (4455) Bad night (1433)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?

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(832): Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities? http://tfl.nu/5gd1

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

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(717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

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(920): I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness http://tfl.nu/erni

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed

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(610): So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed http://tfl.nu/2fhq

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(519): View more from Ontario

Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route

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(519): Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route http://tfl.nu/dfjg

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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(757): Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early? http://tfl.nu/0ctz

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.

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(608): He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples. http://tfl.nu/0xb3

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(516): View more from New York

We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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(516): We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark. http://tfl.nu/w4xu

Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

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(612): Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle? http://tfl.nu/3yux

Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (178)

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