I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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