How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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