Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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