Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize