So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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