The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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