batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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