You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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