dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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