I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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