I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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