Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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