There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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