Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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