i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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