life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize