i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize