@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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