well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize