sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize