I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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